It was the third of July, and I knew what I was going to say. It wasn’t going to be a spontaneous eruption of facts and emotions. I prepared what I wanted to share without flying off the cuff. It was concise, passionate and honorable. I believe Dad was proud. It was his funeral. I gave testimony to his impact on my life. I was happy to do it, and it left a mark.

This time last year I applied to attend United Theological Seminary in Dayton, OH. They accepted me into their Doctor of Ministry program. On the application, I referenced my years of experience as a United Methodist clergyperson and my ongoing position in leadership at a local house church. As the first semester progressed, I knew I couldn’t go forward in the program because the house church situation was not enough to sustain a research study the program demanded. I didn’t have a context of ministry. This left an impression.

These two experiences this year impressed on me what I ultimately acknowledged personally. I still have a calling on my life, and I’ll serve in a church to fulfill it. Five years ago, I turned in my ordination to pursue a ministry I’ve described in this blog over the years. That ministry has not come to fruition. I sensed after my father’s funeral (perhaps as an answer to my father’s prayers) I can and should return to the church that witnessed my original experience of calling from God, the United Methodist Church. I’m in process of the reinstatement of my ordination now. All of this points to a return to first things.

Earlier this week, I felt discouraged. I didn’t listen to sports radio or podcasts in the morning as usual. I felt as if I was fasting to mortify the flesh in order to draw close to God. I prayed as I showered, shaved, clothed myself, exercised and made the bed. It helped. I recalled an encounter with God a friend of ours had in our house in Albertville six years ago. She laid on the carpet and told me what’s coming is beyond words and I had no idea how good it was. That coupled with listening to a sermon April preached about that same time brought such encouragement to me. The encouragement awakened the passion for God in my calling. God has set us aside, but the time draws near for our moving forward in our callings. It’s a return to first things.

I now return to this blog to write about my encounters with God and God’s people. I return to fulfill one of the aspects of my calling in God and it is to write. I’ve prayed this year a verse from Psalm 109, Do not be silent, O God of my praise. This has morphed into a simple declaration I speak to my heavenly Father, “You speak; I’ll write.” I now return to document, report, share what I believe God conveys to us or does through us as we proceed in my reinstatement, trust afresh in his steadfast love and know again our God is faithful.

I conclude this post with the verses that still feed and inspire my spirit and soul and shine a light on my path on all I write:

Write this down for the next generation
    so people not yet born will praise God:
“God looked out from his high holy place;
    from heaven he surveyed the earth.
He listened to the groans of the doomed,
    he opened the doors of their death cells.”
Write it so the story can be told in Zion,
    so God’s praise will be sung in Jerusalem’s streets
And wherever people gather together
    along with their rulers to worship him.

-Psalm 102:18-22, The Message